


Wishing Upon a Memory

by Emerald1



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 19:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald1/pseuds/Emerald1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after the fact, what happens when two star-crossed lovers finally meet? What price did they have to pay? Sequel to Memories of a Circus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Off-screen deaths

Wishing upon a Memory

 

Melancholy; that was the word Timothy McGee would have used to describe himself as he left the circus. The midway was closing down, vendors packing away their wares to be brought out again in the next town. The last tent on the left was still up, the fortune teller still calling out for the curious to come know their fortune. McGee smiled and shook his head as he walked past, but she would not be so easily dissuaded and came around the table to stand in front of him. Ancient blue eyes stared back at the young agent as she pressed a coin into his hand.

"It's not your future you want to know, it's the past that is your heart's desire." Before he could ask what she meant, the woman disappeared into the crowd. Still lost in his memories, he slipped the coin into his pocket and continued on his way.

 

\---NCIS---

 

A month after the circus, crime was once again the center of attention at NCIS. Gibbs slammed his hands down on the table in Interrogation Room Two before storming out the door. He'd gotten his confession out of the husband, but if anything it made it worse, not better. Behind the mirror, DiNozzo shook his head sadly. There'd been an odd look on the boss's face ever since the body of the red-haired young woman had been found that morning. He turned to ask McGee if he knew what was bugging the old man, only to find the same expression on his partner's face.

McGee could see the question; it was one he didn't want Gibbs to face, so he gave the answer, much to DiNozzo's surprise. "She was the age Kelly would have been." His cryptic words brought more questions than they answered. Unfortunately, McGee didn't wait in the observation room to continue the conversation so DiNozzo's next question was asked to the walls.

"How do you know that?"

 

\---NCIS---

 

Distractions drug out the paperwork on any case, but never so much as they did tonight. Gibbs stared at his computer screen, lost in thought. McGee typed sporadically as his attention bounced between his paperwork and Gibbs. DiNozzo gave up on pretending to write his report as he studied the two of them, while Ziva kept her head down and covertly watched the three of them. Even with his attention divided, McGee was the first to finish.

Gibbs took the offered folder with a careful look at the agent handing it over. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm all right." Somehow, the tone wasn't as reassuring as the words.

He didn't pull on the folder until the younger man looked up. "You want to crash at my place tonight?" Over the last few weeks he had read enough of Tim's childhood journal to know that today was the anniversary of when he would have married Kelly. As much as he hated it, he understood when his offer was turned down.

"Thanks, but I think I really want to be alone tonight." He gave a sad smile and nod as Gibbs reminded him to drive carefully. At the other desks, two curious agents watched the exchange, but knew better than to ask.

 

\---NCIS---

 

Still unsettled, McGee parked in his assigned spot at the apartment complex and shut off the engine. It was late and he was tired, but he knew sleep was far away. The park across the street called out to him and he started walking the familiar paths. Soon a group of boisterous teenagers caused him to detour to a lesser maintained path he had never gone down before. The walkway took him further from the rest of the visitors to the park and at the end of the path was a small wishing well he'd never noticed.

Tim leaned against the rough stone wondering again what their life truly would have been like. The odd coin he'd carried ever since that day at the circus grew warm in his hand as he thought about the life he wished he'd had. Feeling foolish, he tossed the coin before he changed his mind.

"I wish… I wish…"

 

\---NCIS---

 

"Morning sleepyhead," the musical voice drew him from his sleep and Tim slowly opened his eyes. Bright sunlight filtered in through the large picture window across from the foot of the bed. Not recognizing the room, he sat up quickly and stumbled out of bed. His forward movement came to a halt as a beautiful redhead entered the room. She was obviously very pregnant and was carrying a sleepy toddler with the same red hair and eyes the same shade of green as Tim's. The little girl leapt from her mother and Tim opened his arms just in time to catch her.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" She wrapped her chubby arms around his neck and gave him a wet kiss on the cheek before snuggling down against him. He looked down at her and then up at her mother in awe.

"Kelly?"

"What?" She turned and looked at him, questioningly, before touching her shoulder length hair. "I only had it trimmed a few inches, don't you like it?"

"It's beautiful, you're beautiful. Do I tell you that enough sweetheart?" For a moment he thought his heart would beat right out of his chest as she stood in front of him, whole and alive.

"Beautiful? Did you hit your head, Timmy?" She rubbed her belly with another laugh. "Your son has me looking like a beached whale. Keep Kendra busy while I take my shower, all right? Then we'll go visit my dad."

Once the bathroom door closed behind her, Tim sunk down onto the bed, gasping. His little girl leaned back and looked him in the eye.

"Daddy needs a kiss." She kissed him on the nose before throwing her arms around him again. "Daddy needs lots and lots of kisses." 

He returned the hug and rocked her back and forth, whispering. "My girls, my beautiful, beautiful girls.

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Kendra, sweetie, let's get you dressed so we can go see Grandpa." Kelly reached out and took Kendra's hand. The little girl climbed down as Tim let go of her.

"Can I wear my blue dress? It's Grandpa's favorite."

"Sure you can. Come on, so Daddy can get dressed, too."

Once the door closed behind them, Tim walked over to look out the window. He immediately recognized the tree in the front yard. This was Gibbs' house. Shaken, he let instinct choose his clothes from the closet before he took a quick shower. Dressed, he moved downstairs to survey the rest of the house. The basement was his first stop. It was filled with clutter and boxes, but no boat, no woodworking equipment.

Unsettled, he went back upstairs. The plain white walls he remembered were now a soft, pale green, but the familiar wainscoting was still there, well maintained and gleaming in the morning sun. The furniture was a mix of antique and cheaply made modern, except for the kitchen table. That was battered, maple, and very familiar. Curious, he walked through to what had been Gibbs' office to find that it was now his, complete with computer, typewriter, and a large shelf filled with over a dozen books written by Thom E. Gemcity. Only the titles were unfamiliar. 

He reached for the closest book only to be distracted by the window. It wasn't until he was touching the glass that he realized it was bulletproof. Silently he circled the house, all the windows were bulletproof.

Kelly joined him at the living room window, wrapping her arms around him from behind and kissing the back of his neck. "What'ya doing?"

Tim squeezed her hands as he turned to face Kelly. "I was just looking at these windows."

"You take such good care of us, Timmy. Do you remember how the Jefferson's joked about how paranoid you were?"

He wanted to scream that he didn't, that he didn't remember any of this. Instead, he smiled and nodded, letting Kelly take the lead.

"We should get going; there'll be extra checkpoints today, so it'll take longer to get there." 

"Extra checkpoints?"

"Today's the fifth anniversary. Don't tell me you forgot?" Kelly studied him, brushing her fingertips across his cheek. "What's wrong, Tim?"

McGee felt like he was grasping at straws. "I just, I woke up with a headache, that's all."

"Why don't I drive and you get some rest, sweetheart." Tim nodded and followed her and Kendra outside. There was something painful about watching her lock two deadbolts on a door that should never be locked, but he covered his hesitation by picking up the newspaper that had been tossed into the bushes. Kelly gave him a strange look, but didn't comment again while she buckled Kendra into her carseat and wedged herself behind the wheel of an older car. 

Tim opened the paper as she was backing out of the driveway to find the article commemorating the fourth anniversary of the downing of Air Force One by a terrorist posing as a reporter. He quickly skimmed the article, finding the list of those killed that day. He did not recognize the names of any of the NCIS agents aboard at the time, but one of the Secret Service agents killed was Caitlin Marie Todd. McGee leaned back in the seat, gasping.

Kelly slowed down for the upcoming checkpoint and reached over to squeeze his hand. "You shouldn't be reading in the car if you've got a headache." He gave her a weak smile as he folded the paper before the soldier tapped at his window.

It was a surreal experience to be scrutinized by armed soldiers on the streets of DC. At both checkpoints the photo on his identification card was carefully matched to his face and the bar code on the back was scanned. Even little Kendra had a card, but she received a piece of candy from the soldiers each time she showed the card she wore on a lanyard around her neck. 

They showed their identification for a third time at the entry gate to a private hospital McGee did not recognize, but here it was treated as more of a formality as the guard recognized them and called them by name. Tim didn't have a clue who the man was, so he settled for a smile and a nod as they drove through the gate.

Kendra happily held her daddy's hand as she skipped along, the two of them following Kelly to the burn ward. Kendra waved and Kelly called out to several nurses as they went down the corridor to a private room at the end of the hall.

"Good morning, Daddy." Kelly bent down and gently kissed her father's temple, carefully avoiding the heavily scarred right side of his face. Obviously used to the visits, Kendra climbed up on the chair and perched on her knees so she could peer down at her grandfather as she chattered on about her week at preschool and the nice soldier that gave her candy.

McGee used the distraction to study the man he thought was invincible. The flatness of the blankets highlighted the missing lower limbs, the scars in various stages of healing showed years of treatments and skin grafts, but it was the deep exhaustion he saw in the one usable eye that tore at his heart.

"Hey, Boss." From the right side, Tim leaned forward enough to be in Gibbs' range of vision. He wasn't sure where he could touch without causing pain, but Gibbs moved his hand and Tim caught it with a gentle squeeze. The returning pressure was greater than he expected and Gibbs didn't let go while he turned back to listen to Kendra and Kelly. When it became apparent that the injured man was tiring, Kelly told him that they would make a run to the cafeteria and let him rest for a while. Gibbs nodded and spoke for the first time since their arrival.

"T'm stay… need to t'lk to you." 

Startled, Tim and Kelly looked at each other. Kelly because her father rarely spoke, Tim because of how damaged and weak the voice was. Kelly recovered first.

"Sure Dad, Kendra and I will be back in a bit." She gave Tim a worried look before she and Kendra left. Tim moved to Gibbs' less injured side and sat in the chair his daughter had been kneeling in.

"Boss, it wasn't supposed to be like this." He knew Gibbs wouldn't understand what he meant, but he couldn't help but say the words. 

Even diminished, the Gibbs stare was unmistakable. "Sp'nd too much… th's." Gibbs' hand waved around the well equipped hospital room. "Take care… Kelly… n't me." A flash of insight told him why they were driving an old, crappy car and living in his father-in-law's house if he was such a successful author.

"Taking care of you is taking care of Kelly. It would hurt her too much if we didn't do everything possible for you."

"T'rd, time to let go." For just a moment, his voice was strong. "You saved Kelly, now it's time to let me go."

"Boss?" Tim almost laughed. Gibbs knew, Gibbs always knew, that was the one constant in either life.

"Fair… fair trade."

 


	3. Chapter 3

He could see the question in her eyes, but Kelly didn't bring it up until Kendra was down for her nap. "What did Dad want to talk to you about?"  
  
Tim settled for a half-truth. "He's worried about the money."  
  
"But we're okay, right?" Kelly stepped closer to grasp his jacket lapels. "We are, aren't we? I don't want to move Dad back to the VA hospital. It's so overcrowded and they weren't taking very good care of him. As soon as the baby's here I could take on some more freelance work…"  
  
"Kelly, sweetheart, I promise you we're going to be fine and we'll always take care of your dad. Now, why don't you rest while Kendra is napping? I'm going to do some research."  
  
His words calmed her and she rested her palms on his chest. "For your new book?"  
  
"Still deciding." It was a vague enough answer as he kissed her. She melted against him and they stayed like that as he finally got to hold her. Tim could feel her breath against his neck and could feel the baby moving. He laid his hand on her belly just in time to feel a hard kick and they both laughed before he shooed her up to lay down.  
  
He worried about his password as he sat at the computer, but his password from his old reality worked in this reality too. His first step was to track down the members of his old team. Kate, he already knew, died when Gibbs wasn't there to stop the downing of Air Force One, an event that not only killed Kate, the President, and dozens more, but apparently was the beginnings of the martial law the country now seemed to be under.   
  
He could find no connection between Tony and the NCIS of this reality, so he backed up further and found an article in the Baltimore Sun. Police Detective Anthony DiNozzo was killed in the line of duty while attempting to track down a dirty cop. Tim pressed his hand against his mouth as he forced himself to breathe deeply. The joking, annoying pain-in-the-ass agent he loved like a brother had been shot three times in the back by his own partner and left to die in a filthy alley.   
  
Biting back a sob, he turned his attention next to Ziva. He didn't expect the search to be easy for the Mossad operative, but a sidebar to a story about Ari told him what he needed to know. Ari's success at killing hundreds of Navy dependents at the Norfolk dock was blamed on his handler, Ziva David, who did not know he had turned against the Mossad. The photo taken of her the day of her execution showed the proud, strong woman he had come to admire so much. In revenge for the death of his half-sister, Ari had gone on a rampage that had killed hundreds more civilians and brought about the next step in the crackdown of the government.   
  
On the verge of hyperventilating, McGee let his fingers fly across the keyboard. Jenny Shepard had never made it out of Paris. Ducky died at the hands of Vincent Hanlan and his mother. Jimmy Palmer flunked out of medical school and left the east coast several months after his mentor's death. Desperate to find any good news, he went back through news clippings to find how other teams had handled the cases that were originally theirs.  
  
Although civilian deaths were not as high as they could have been, Lt. Col. Hollis Mann and her team were killed by a suicide bomber on the Georgetown Promenade. Sharif, the mastermind behind it, showed up again six months later releasing contaminated money that killed almost a thousand people and sickened tens of thousands. The panic that ensued caused a near economic collapse and the riots that followed were the final step towards the checkpoints and curfews that were now commonplace.  
  
Sickened, McGee almost shut down the search engine, but he still had to know. After checking that Kelly was still asleep upstairs, he ran the service record for Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs had been given compassionate leave to return stateside following the death of his wife. Now a single father, he had spent the next ten years as a recruiter, only to return to active duty soon after the destruction of the World Trade Center. Less than a month later, his convoy in Afghanistan was hit by rocket fire, killing seven soldiers, and wounding nineteen more including Gibbs. A lesser man would have died of the injuries Gibbs received, but Jethro Gibbs promised his beloved daughter that he would return home in time for her wedding. A wedding announcement told of the loving couple's quiet ceremony at her father's bedside.  
  
As the afternoon wore on, there were some happy discoveries. Tim's parents were alive and still living on the family farm his father had retired to after the Navy. More searching had found Jimmy Palmer eventually returned to medical school in Los Angeles as was currently doing quite well there. Paula Cassidy was still stationed at Gitmo, and there had been no doubt that it was Archer that killed Benedict in the alley behind the hotel.  
  
He heard Kelly come down the stairs and closed out of the programs he was running. As she went into the kitchen he managed to get past her and up the stairs to wash his face. Tim stared at his reflection in the mirror for a long time. How could he give up what he had? How could he live with what it had cost? In the hallway could be heard the sound of running toddler feet and he turned to follow, forcing a smile on his face.  
  
Every moment of that night Tim tried to commit to memory. The sound of Kelly's laughter as she swatted him on the back of the head with her oven mitt when he tried to sneak a piece of the garlic bread. Kendra's giggles as she watched her parent's playful antics. His own amusement as their toddler worked hard to use silverware like a big person. She managed to lose most of her vegetables onto the floor, but not a single noodle or a drop of spaghetti sauce was lost in the process; unless you counted the splatter on her face from slurping each individual noodle.  
  
After dinner he helped Kelly give their daughter a bubble bath. Rolling his sleeves up wasn't nearly enough to keep him dry, but listening to Kelly laugh had been worth it. Mindful of the wet floor and her advanced pregnancy, Tim lifted her off the floor and carried her to the safety of the carpeted bedroom before lifting Kendra out of the draining tub. Once in her favorite pink nightgown with the white flowers on it, she snuggled onto her father's lap for a bedtime story. Kelly handed him the book they were reading and joined them on the bed. Matthias and Cluny, Constance and Silent Sam came alive on the pages as he wove the story for his little girl. As the chapter wound down, he saw her eyelids begin to droop and he tucked the blankets around her. Kelly retrieved her bunny from the foot of the bed and kissed her good night. Tim stayed a few more minutes, watching as his little girl drifted off to sleep and kissed her again.  
  
"Goodnight, Angel, no matter what happens, Daddy loves you very, very much."  
  
Kelly was waiting for him in their bedroom. Wearing a translucent gown, she was all soft curves, breasts and belly and hips as she waited for him on the bed. "Are you sure, Honey?" He reached out and stroked his hand across her stomach, feeling their son push back.  
  
She reached out and began to unbutton his damp shirt. "Oh, I am very sure." Their lovemaking was slow and sweet as he committed every moment to memory.  
  
It was only two hours before curfew when Tim slipped out of bed and into his clothes. He bent down and brushed Kelly's hair back to gaze at her face one last time. Before he lost his nerve, he kissed her lips and walked away. His next step was Kendra's room. His little girl was a restless sleeper like he had been as a child. He straightened her blankets and retrieved her stuffed bunny from the floor. Her eyes opened as he tucked the bunny up against her. "Back to sleep, Baby Girl."  
  
"Love you, Daddy."   
  
  


\---NCIS---

  
  
  
The staff wasn't too surprised when McGee returned to the hospital that night. Gibbs had already been given the heavy doses of painkillers and sedatives needed to get him through the night, but Tim still stood at his bedside to explain. "I know how you feel about apologies, Boss, but I am sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It's not just you for Kelly, but a whole lot of people have suffered and died, and I don't have the right to do that. I have to find a way to set it right. Someday I hope you can find a way to forgive me because I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself."  
  
Choking back the tears, Tim turned and left, not noticing the bright blue eye that was now open or the tears streaming down the destroyed face. "I fr'gv you son."  
  
  


\---NCIS---

  
  
  
He arrived at the park in Silver Spring twenty minutes before the start of curfew, but the sight of the elderly woman told him he need not worry about that. She gave him a knowing smile and turned down the path to the wishing well.   
  
"Are you sure? There can be no third attempt at the well of fate and destiny."  
  
This time McGee knew he had to be sure. "Will everything be back the way it was?"  
  
She nodded and held out her hand. Another old coin, blackened with age, rested on her palm. "Soon it will fade and will only be as a dream you once had."  
  
He took the coin and once again dropped it into the well, listening to the splash as it hit the water.  
  
"I wish… I wish…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't needed tissues yet, you will now.

Gibbs spent a restless night, unable to work on his boat, unable to sleep. He reached for his phone a dozen times during the night, but never dialed. Instead, he arrived at headquarters at 0500, knowing that Jenny would be there early for an international video feed in MTAC.

She smiled knowingly as he handed her a coffee before the feed was totally dead. "Why couldn't you sleep, Jethro? Still thinking about that case from yesterday?"

"No, well… maybe, not exactly."

That got Jenny Shepard's attention as she peered at him over the safety of the coffee cup. He shrugged as he admitted the problem. "I was worried about McGee. You know what yesterday would have been."

She did know. The night of the circus it had taken a lot of bourbon, but she had gotten the entire story out of him and now she watched the two circle each other. Neither one willing to go back to the way it was before, but neither one willing to admit the bond that tied them together. "Did you call him last night?"

"No, he said he wanted to be alone." He certainly didn't look convinced by his own words, but she didn't mention that.

"So? It's morning now; call him and have him meet you for breakfast." Before he could agree or come up with a reason why he shouldn't bother his young agent he cell phone interrupted them.

"Agent Gibbs."

Whoever was on the other end was not delivering good news.

"I'll be right there." He closed his phone and stared at it.

"Jethro?"

"Tim's been rushed to Bethesda. He's unconscious and barely breathing." Gibbs was already heading for the door. "I've got to go, Jenny. Get DiNozzo and David out to the park across from his apartment, that's where he was attacked." Once he was out of her office, he ignored the elevator and took the stairs down two at a time.

Jenny watched him leave before making the calls. Ziva was first since she lived closer to the apparent crime scene, then Tony. The questions were all the same; she should have had them on a conference call so she would have only had to answer once. Yes, he's alive. No, I don't know what happened. No, Gibbs is not meeting you there. Yes, he's going straight to the hospital. Yes, I'm sure.

If the agents reporting in from Spain felt rushed, they didn't complain before she disconnected and left for the hospital. Gibbs may have the gut, but her woman's intuition told her things were going to get worse before they got better.

 

\---NCIS---

 

A flash of the badge always sped things up at a hospital, but this time even the doctor jumped when he saw the silver shape. "Gibbs? Are you Agent Gibbs?"

"Yes, I…" Gibbs didn't get any further before he was interrupted.

"Thank goodness. Come with me please." His arm was immediately grabbed and they rushed down the corridor. "We don't know what's wrong with him yet, but if we can't get him calmed down, he may hurt himself. He's convinced you were blown up."

"What?" By now he could hear what room McGee was being treated in and didn't bother asking any further questions. He elbowed his way past the staff and reached the bed, forcing Tim to look at him.

"Boss?" There was a frailty in his tone that almost hurt to hear. "You're all right?"

Gibbs tried to reassure him. "I'm fine, Tim. Nobody hurt me, but what happened to you? Can you tell me what happened?" He leaned close, maintaining eye contact as he cupped Tim's face in his hands. "Who did this?"

"Oh, God, the well… I tried, but it hurt so bad. I'm sorry, Kelly…" Tim fell back against the bed as he lost consciousness and Gibbs was forced back as the medical staff swarmed into the room. 

"We're going to do a CT scan, there may be bleeding in his brain." No further explanation was given as they rushed him out of the room. 

Gibbs found himself in the waiting room, being handed a coffee by Jenny. "How is he?" All Gibbs could do was shake his head and Jenny took his hand. After a few deep breaths, Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

 

\---NCIS---

 

Tony and Ziva walked the area carefully that had been cordoned off. Except for a few drops of blood, nothing seemed out of place. While Tony took a phone call, the local officer explained to Ziva what they had found.

"Your agent was found over here, unconscious. He was hit on the back of his head, so we're thinking a mugging. When he fell, his badge was visible and they probably panicked and took off. There's not a lot of people in the park at night, so who knows how long he was laying here before he was found this morning." Happy with his theory the uniformed man finished his summation. "If there's nothing else, we'll turn the scene over to you."

"Just one question." Tony came up behind him as he was talking. "Do you know anything about a well here in the park?"

"Sort of." He pointed out an overgrown path that looked like it hadn't been used is years. "There used to be a decorative wishing well down there, but it was torn down years ago."

"Thanks, you guys can take off now." DiNozzo dismissed him with a grin as he turned to study the faint path. Once he and Ziva were alone, he pulled out his knife and started to cut though the vines blocking their way as he explained. "Gibbs wants us to check out the well; he thinks Probie may have had a reason to come down here.

Ziva started hacking at the vines too. "No one has been down here for years. Nothing is disturbed, there are no footprints, and these branches are intact. How is McGee, did he say anything?"

"McGee's not good, Ziva. The Boss sounded… scared." Tony stopped as he caught his blade in a larger vine. 

Ziva frowned at his statement. "You must be mistaken, Tony. Gibbs would not be scared."

"This is useless. No way did anyone get down there." DiNozzo struggled to pull his blade out of the vine.

"Agreed. There is nothing here. Officer Andrews was right. McGee was injured in an attempted mugging. He needs to pay more attention to his surroundings; this could have been much worse."

"Let's swing by the hospital and check on McGee ourselves."

 

\---NCIS---

 

"Agent Gibbs?" The doctor sat down across from Gibbs and Director Shepard and smiled, relieving them instantly. "The CT scan showed only a minor bleed that is already resolving itself. He's awake and aware of his surroundings."

"Thank God. Does he remember what happened?" Gibbs couldn't express how relieved he was at the news.

"There's a gap in his memory, but that's very common with a head injury like this. I wouldn't worry about it. He's being moved into a room right now, so you'll be able to see him for yourself pretty soon."

Gibbs shook the man's hand and then let Jenny deal with the niceties while he moved to stand in front of the window. Something about the entire incident was off, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Boss, how's McGeek?" Gibbs turned around to see DiNozzo and Ziva coming towards him and smiled for the first time since he'd gotten the call.

"Looks like he's going to be all right."

"What did you find at the scene?" If DiNozzo was surprised to find the Director of NCIS at the hospital waiting on one of their least experienced agents, he didn't show it.

"It appears to have been an attempted mugging."

Gibbs wasn't convinced. "He was knocked unconscious, but they didn't take his wallet, his watch or his gun? What about a well, did you find one?"

"There was one, but it was removed many years ago." Ziva wasn't sure why the wishing well was so important to Gibbs, but she explained to the best of her abilities. "The path to where it was is too overgrown to navigate. It's impossible for anyone to have been down there."

Gibbs seemed lost in thought as he dismissed them. "All right, go back to the Yard and get busy on the paperwork for the Morrison case. I'm staying here until I can talk to McGee."

 

\---NCIS---

 

The last nurse was finishing up when Gibbs entered the room. McGee was lying on his side, facing away from the door, allowing him a moment to observe unnoticed. He stepped into the room to clear the doorway as the nurse left. Tim seemed to notice him then, but instead of relaxing, the younger man appeared to tense up even more. Gibbs circled the bed to sit where he could see McGee's face.

"Hey, how're you doing? You gave us quite a scare." As he rested his elbows on the edge of the bed Tim seemed to shrink into himself, wrapping his arms around the pillow he was clutching.

"I'm… I'm… all right, sir." 

Gibbs felt his eyebrow climb. He hadn't heard the stutter that bad or the 'sir' since McGee's first year on the team. He looked up at Jenny who stood in the doorway, before returning his gaze to the bed's occupant. "Do you remember what happened to you?"

"No." Tim was curling in on himself, trying to shut out the outside world and Gibbs didn't have a clue as to why. "I don't remember anything after leaving work yesterday. I'm tired, Boss."

The closed eyes and feigned sleep were a red flag, but Gibbs was stumped. Worried, he brushed Tim's hair back off his face. "All right, McGee, you get some rest and I'll check back on you in a few hours." He didn't slow down until he was back in the waiting room, Jenny right on his heels.

"Jethro, what is going on? The nurse told me that he was almost hysterical when he was brought in, claiming you were injured, that you'd been hit by rocket fire, and now he doesn't remember and just wants to sleep?"

"I don't know, Jenny, I just don't know." Gibbs started pacing as he thought about the events of the day. "Something's got him spooked, but I don't know what. Why won't he talk to me?"

"He seemed frightened."

"Of me? After these last few weeks, I thought he could tell me anything." Gibbs sagged into a chair. "I though he knew that, too."

"Let me try." They returned to McGee's room, but this time Gibbs stayed in the hallway while Jenny eased inside. As she expected, Tim hadn't moved, but was awake, staring off into space. 

"Talk to me, Tim." When he started to withdraw even further, she laid her hand on his arm. "Whatever it is, it's tearing you apart."

Tears were rolling down his face. "I can't tell him, I can't."

"You need to tell someone, though. Talk to me, Tim." She repeated herself as she leaned closer. "I won't tell Gibbs if you don't want me to."

"He'll hate me."

"No, he could never hate you. Not the man Kelly wanted to marry." She thought her gentle words would ease his mind, but it tore him up even more. Jenny glanced up at the pain-filled face at the doorway before returning her attention to McGee as she pulled the blankets up tighter around him. "Whatever it is, just tell me."

He was too exhausted, too drained to resist. The words came slowly at first, and then they tumbled out. Hearing about her own death was surreal, but seeing how the deaths of his teammates was tearing Tim apart was heartbreaking. It took almost three hours for McGee to relate his experiences, ending with the worry that he couldn't find any information about Abby, who seemed to disappear right after joining NCIS.

Jenny had long since given up trying to wipe away her tears as he talked. Eventually he quieted, watching her reaction.

"Tim, he wouldn't hate you for that. It was a terrible, terrible nightmare." When McGee closed his eyes, she risked a quick glance up at Gibbs' devastated face.

"No, you don't understand." Tim didn't open his eyes as he spoke. "I kissed my wife and little girl goodnight and then I wished them away. I don't know how to live with that. I don't know if I want to try."

Jenny sat with him until the next time a nurse came in. A few quiet words and the staff had him on a watch to protect him as he grieved. She left the room determined to make sure Gibbs understand.

Gibbs was sitting in the stairwell and she didn't say anything as she joined him, waiting for him to make the first move. He stood, startling her, and rushed down the stairs. She followed, determined to not let this nightmare destroy either of them. He didn't say a word as she climbed in the car beside him. They reached the park and Gibbs opened the trunk of his car, still silent. His field kit had the gear he needed and he handed Jenny a flashlight before taking the machete for himself.

The machete easily sliced through the thick vines and in less than an hour they were standing at the remains of what once was a wishing well. A metal grate prevented anyone from falling in; it appeared to be a fairly recent addition to a stone structure that looked to be ancient. Gibbs dropped the machete and took the flashlight from Jenny. She peered over his shoulder as he bent down to shine the light down into the hole. 

It wasn't deep, maybe ten or twelve feet, and dry. The bones of a small rodent were scattered on the bottom and next to the tiny skull were two black coins, one slightly overlapping the other. Jenny fell back as Gibbs staggered to his feet.

"My God, it was true." She stared at him as he paced, trying to gauge his mood. 

For the first time, something other than the death of his family was causing Jethro Gibbs to hyperventilate. "No… no… no…"

"Jethro…"

"No! You were right; it was a dream, a nightmare. A terrible, painful nightmare."

"Jethro…"

"No! I am not letting this destroy him, Jenny. He's all I've got left. Shannon, Kelly and now Kendra. They're all gone, we've lost them all. It was a dream. He was tired and stressed after the case and he came to the park to unwind." Gibbs started to pace faster as his words sped up. "He was distracted, and somebody hit him. That's what happened; that's all that happened. The old lady told him it would feel like a dream, right? So that's all it's going to be. Dreams fade in time and this one is going to fade for him." He stopped and looked at her. "It has to, Jenny, it has to." He spun and ran back up the path. Jenny blinked and then scooped up the machete and the flashlight before following him.

She managed to get in the seat before the car was in motion. "What is it, where are we going?"

"He has to believe it was just a dream." That was all he said before pulling into the parking lot of a home improvement store. Jenny followed him again and this time he purchased two bags of quick dry cement and a large bucket. She didn't say a word as he mixed up the cement. He carefully poured it through the grate and covered the bottom of the well with concrete.

They stood sentry as the cement hardened, and then Jenny picked up a handful of dirt and carefully sprinkled it on the fresh cement, destroying the new appearance.

 

\---NCIS---

 

It was almost midnight when Gibbs returned to the hospital. The nurse smiled at him as he sat next to the bed, his hand on Tim's shoulder. The presence of the older man seemed to settle her restless patient and he finally slipped into a deeper sleep. Understanding some of what haunted him; Gibbs was ready when the next nightmare started. He leaned over and whispered in Tim's ear.

"It's all right, son, I forgive you."

 


End file.
